When my children made their first steps, I was cheering and happy amazingly.
We know that these compliments and cheers are empowering our children to dare more. When we get support from strangers, we acknowledge them and we find it authentic. Actually, if we would support a stranger, we would expect to get acknowledgement. BUT, when it is in our close contact – suddenly there is a doubt – am I manipulating – meaning is it real or just an artificial act to please the other, or to get something? We live in a culture where we tend to criticize ourselves and others very easily, but when someone is performing well, for a long time we take it for granted.
The answer to those moments of doubts, can be found in the following self-reflection exercise:
- Allow yourself to ask for a simple support from a stranger, and look at your willingness to thank the person, and how do you feel if you would not acknowledge this support.
- Look at their body-language and see the authenticity, when they give without condition.
- Then – offer your support to a stranger, and look how you feel when you are acknowledged.
- Who do you doubt then? Your self-trust or theirs?
The answer is in the self-trust and authenticity areas. When I trust myself – it will be perfect to acknowledge the contribution of someone else to my life, without looking at it as a need. When I trust myself – I will not doubt my authenticity, as I am powerful enough to give as much as to receive. When I doubt my authenticity, it is a clear sign of my hesitation about my self-trust and my self-respect.
I trust my willingness to give beyond any proof. It is my contribution and my care.