Is this the right person for me and is it genuine love?
It is one of the biggest questions that we face while we are starting new loving relationship.
And the truth is simple and confronting.
When I was a child (11) and my beloved ‘girl-friend’, decided to ‘love’ another child, I was hurt and painful. When it happened again, just because another beloved girl had to go back to her country, I cried 3 days (I was not a crying kid). Since then I decided to ‘control my love. Actually to prevent the pain.
The truth is simple – we are scared to make mistakes in our choices. Thus we look for proofs that this is the right one. It does not exist. We create love and trust, when we dare to trust ourselves.
The percentages of separations and divorces worldwide are huge. All of them start from waiting for “it has to be right”. When we have children, we do not wait for the love to be right. WE make it working.
Those who wait for the genuine experience lose it. Those who create it – are free. It is challenging, because it shows that we are bigger than our fears and self-manipulations. We can and we should make our mind free from our fears that we cannot create our reality.
- Do you trust yourself that you can create the wanted relationship?
- Do you know how you want this relationship to develop?
- Are you willing to invest to make this desire happen?
- Are you going to create excitement in it?
You can train your mind to do it.
thank you for your post.
I am currently in the beginning of a relationship (~3 months) and am confronted by these questions:
-if he often annoys me by being sarcastic or making comments about me, can he truly be someone I can spend my life with?
-if it’s not “perfect” and we are not aligned on many things am I compromising by staying with him?
-how can I be sure that I’m not settling for someone “reasonable” and staying mediocre?
-am I naive for wanting a common language with my partner?
-how can I control my fear of getting too attached? and how can I know if it is fear or if he’s just not right for me? (I know that according to your post anyone can be “the one”, but does it make sense to fight for it when there are so many doubts? so many songs are written about that genuine experience… can they all be wrong?)