Monthly Archives: July 2014

Me and my real feelings


I faced a significant confrontation with myself, when I found myself completely flooded by my jealousy. My reactions were between strong feeling of anger to despair and giving up. My night sleep was very bad and eating was not an option. I suffered and struggled. But I knew that it was not my desire.

A different very significant confrontation that I faced was, during a war, while visiting many injured friends. Then I had a very strong feeling to run away and to save my life from similar reality, while I knew that as a human being, my leadership is going to be lost completely. Scary moment, but I knew it was not my desire.

In my parenthood I faced many other similar confrontations with my feelings. While on one hand my children looked like needing help and seeking agreement with their difficulties, and my feelings were guiding me to agree with them, yet I knew that this will lead to decreasing their power and increase their dependency.

Later, always later, I found out that those moments when I could be clear on the gap between my self-manipulative feelings and my real authentic desires and values, brought me to moments of inspiration to my children and my friends, while experiencing growth and real inner power. Those were the moments where what I needed and used my self-discipline as a significant generator for myself.

Many people seek these moments of inner power. All of them have the needed qualities, but they miss the how to develop it.