I was deeply touched, inspired and empowered by a sharing conversation that I had with a graduate. It was how she is managing her life. I heard that she is facing several significant challenges and confrontations in all main areas of life. And yet she came across very powerful, energetic and excited. At work – where she manages a significant part of a large company, her director got into ‘burn-out’, other directors are away, and she needs to manage the whole operation by herself. Much beyond her official tasks. At home – there were significant challenges how to handle the family, when there were health issues. Personally it is physically tiring. And in all these she is powerful and successful.

When I asked her – ‘how do you do it?’ her response was – ‘I am using every tool and method I got from the trainings, in real life’. This was the moment that I was touched. She really used what we are training, in real life. AND it worked. This is what my life is about. To serve people to make life working successfully including in confronting situations.

She did Essence, Source, Beyond-Doubt, Coaches academy and more.

This is exactly, where I decided to offer ‘Essence- Refresh’, Source – Upgrade and ‘Dare to be Intuitive’ to graduates.

It is great to hear these successes.

I would love to see graduates use these opportunities to create better quality of life.

Ess refresh


Creating team spirit of success under stressful conditions

A few years ago, the football team of my son, age 9 at that time played against Ajax. I was not the coach. At the break the score was 3:0 for Ajax. I spoke with the coach, and told him that the team do not trust that they can win. He answered: Ajax pick their players from 4000 kids, I pick them from maximum 20. I asked his permission to talk to the kids. He was open and caring, and allowed me to talk to them during this break. The game ended 3:3.

After my speech with them they were fighting and went for the win. They did it.

Imagine a military unit that lost 14 out of 40 people in one blast, in enemy area, and look devastated. Agreeing to this reality, could mean my death too.

Both realities are actually the same reality, with different application.

A few points should be trained and delivered:

  • The difference between winners and losers is never the result, but the spirit. Winners will transform every result to a growth and drive moment, while losers will only torture themselves.
  • Forgiving is an expression of guilt. Meaning – we have made mistakes that were not supposed to be done. Will this attitude reset the reality to where it was?
  • We need to get them involved in shifting the reality into the desired reality. Forgiving will not get that attitude. The way to do so is to relate together to the following questions:
    • What are the results that I call mistakes?
    • What was my intention? (By values and results)
    • What were the actions that I took?
    • What did I miss?
    • What are the opportunities evolving from these results?
    • What do I need to correct? (if there is a correction needed)

This spirit needs to be trained and coached at any time and any result. This is not a trick of one time. It can be done in every break and end of a game or competition. Unfortunately, some answers to coaching and trainership can be delivered only through real-practice and not over this platform.

Is self-forgiveness a contradiction or a part of self-loyalty and authenticity?

When our children hurt someone by mistake, we instruct them to appologize, by saying ‘sorry’. We expect or hope that the ‘hurt’ person will forgive. Then we shall feel ‘relief’. Obviously it involves GUILT. Thus the forgiving person is in a ‘superior’ position over the ‘wrong’ person.

We know that we never know the result before we take the action. Mistakes are human. The concept of ‘No-Mistakes’ destroys willingness to dare and contradict humanness. But, the emotional relief of being forgiven – what about this? The answer is in the following questions:

  • Will the forgiveness solve the mistake?
  • Will the request for forgiveness bring the reality back to the reality that took place before the mistake?
  • Did we have a bad intention? (Because in this case that it is not a mistake).
  • Will the forgiveness and the emotional relief support our growth, or maybe this emotional relief will prevent future self-development?

Self- forgiveness is even worse, as underneath we claim without self-awareness, that we should not have made this ‘silly-mistake’. Meaning – even between ourselves we take a position of superiority – ‘such a mistake I should not have done. I should have known it.’ This is a highly arrogant statement, because if we would have known – we would not have done that mistake.

The answer to such a situation is by verifying that we grow out of our mistakes by the following steps:

  • What are the results that I call mistakes?
  • What was my intention? (By values and results)
  • What were the actions that I took?
  • What did I miss?
  • What are the opportunities evolving from these results?
  • What do I need to correct? (if there is a correction needed)
  • If the consequences of the mistake involve other people, what and how need to be done to create partnership in the correction.

Unfortunately there is a huge culture around us that make ‘forgiveness’ – proper. Forgiveness contradict self-loyalty and excellence. We need to train our mind to love our mistakes and not to make them a source of guilt.

further habits in internalizing compliments

How do I increase my self-expression, when I want to give the compliment, but I am judging it? How do I get out of the vicious circle?

When we try to dance and judge the dance at the same time, we shall lose the excitement of dancing. We may even quit dancing.

Giving in relationships is the same. Giving compliments is a part of giving.

When I dance with all my passion, I am not busy judging it. When I acknowledge and give, I do it with all my passion.

You have trained yourself to criticise yourself – and lose excitement of life. Now start training yourself in the wanted direction. The only way is experiential learning. As we train in all my trainings. It is impossible to solve it by thinking about it.

Self-confidence in loving relationships

Is this the right person for me and is it genuine love?

It is one of the biggest questions that we face while we are starting new loving relationship.
And the truth is simple and confronting.

When I was a child (11) and my beloved ‘girl-friend’, decided to ‘love’ another child, I was hurt and painful. When it happened again, just because another beloved girl had to go back to her country, I cried 3 days (I was not a crying kid). Since then I decided to ‘control my love. Actually to prevent the pain.
The truth is simple – we are scared to make mistakes in our choices. Thus we look for proofs that this is the right one. It does not exist. We create love and trust, when we dare to trust ourselves.
The percentages of separations and divorces worldwide are huge. All of them start from waiting for “it has to be right”. When we have children, we do not wait for the love to be right. WE make it working.
Those who wait for the genuine experience lose it. Those who create it – are free. It is challenging, because it shows that we are bigger than our fears and self-manipulations.  We can and we should make our mind free from our fears that we cannot create our reality.

  • Do you trust yourself that you can create the wanted relationship?
  • Do you know how you want this relationship to develop?
  • Are you willing to invest to make this desire happen?
  • Are you going to create excitement in it?

You can train your mind to do it.

How to create a team

teamspiritHow can we create fast, effective and reliable processes of inspiring leadership and team-spirit?

I used to be a military deputy-commander in a highly-influential command unit. In response to high tension demanding culture, I created an inspirational leadership process that improved significantly our ability to perform effectively under stressful conditions.

Our ‘traditional-routine’ for our reserve service officers unit, would take us almost 3 days to get into high performance effective mode. At that specific situation, I invented a different process that succeeded to get everyone tuned, and in high quality performance in 3 hours.

The differences were in the attitude and communication tools I introduced into our unit. The steps were:

1) Create partnership through declaration of the mutual successes and mistakes beyond ranks
and formal authorities.

2) Ask every member to bring forward honesty and openness to learn from each other mistakes
and successes.

3) Define clearly the indications of success of the unit and the individuals.

4) Ask everyone to relate to what is not working in their areas of responsibility and in the
coordination with others, starting from the lower ranks to the higher ranks.

5) Ask everyone to come up with suggestions for these issues. Those suggestions had to be
practical and easy to apply in short term.

6) Ask everyone to relate to the processes that were working so everyone could learn and apply
in all units.

7) Ask for commitment of mutual enrichment through the processes, and define event-line for
next enrichments.

For applying such a process there is a need for short and simple preparations, including the steps that are mentioned above, plus a plan how to maintain it.

All these processes were used later in variety of all kinds of organizations, and they appeared to be contributing to fast, effective and reliable inspiring leadership and team-spirit.

In common organizations such a process will happen only after significant troubles. The key was to create trusted safe partnership, with simple communication tools. We – the leaders, had the courage to create this different process, as we trusted ourselves and our leadership. We created safety to win with us. It demanded from us to share our mistakes as much as our successes, and thus created the wanted partnership.

Giving compliments: empowering or manipulating?

acknowledgementWhen I give compliments in my close relationship. Am I authentic or is it a manipulation, meaning I want to get something?

When my children made their first steps, I was cheering and happy amazingly.

We know that these compliments and cheers are empowering our children to dare more. When we get support from strangers, we acknowledge them and we find it authentic. Actually, if we would support a stranger, we would expect to get acknowledgement. BUT, when it is in our close contact – suddenly there is a doubt – am I manipulating – meaning is it real or just an artificial act to please the other, or to get something? We live in a culture where we tend to criticize ourselves and others very easily, but when someone is performing well, for a long time we take it for granted.

The answer to those moments of doubts, can be found in the following self-reflection exercise:

  • Allow yourself to ask for a simple support from a stranger, and look at your willingness to thank the person, and how do you feel if you would not acknowledge this support.
  • Look at their body-language and see the authenticity, when they give without condition.
  • Then – offer your support to a stranger, and look how you feel when you are acknowledged.
  • Who do you doubt then? Your self-trust or theirs?

The answer is in the self-trust and authenticity areas. When I trust myself – it will be perfect to acknowledge the contribution of someone else to my life, without looking at it as a need. When I trust myself – I will not doubt my authenticity, as I am powerful enough to give as much as to receive. When I doubt my authenticity, it is a clear sign of my hesitation about my self-trust and my self-respect.

I trust my willingness to give beyond any proof. It is my contribution and my care.

How do I improve my self-confidence when I need to make an important decision?

Personally – I faced these hesitations when I faced significant questions relating to my future: Which direction of work or study shall I take? Shall I commit myself to specific relationship and get married? Shall I start a business, or shall I remain safe with my current work? Am I ready for having children? Where do I want to live my life? Will I be able to make it if I quit this work/relationship/ studies/ etc…?
Many people are disturbed by the question of self-confidence. It is always related to hesitations, doubts and fears, when it comes to decisions.

We are not worried about the successes that are available. We are worried of the consequences and prices we may pay if we make a wrong decision.

The answer to this major question of self-confidence starts in different 4 points, which the following questions will illustrate:

  • If we would be sure that whatever we decide, we can solve the challenge successfully. Would we hesitate or would we just decide?
  • Are we looking at the opportunities as deeply as we are looking at the threats?
  • Are we clear what may the consequences and prices be and prepare solutions for those?
  • Are we willing to look at those consequences as investments?

The issue of self-confidence is a justification for our desire to get the result, before we take the actions.

It is a matter of admitting that I will never know the result before I take the action, and committing myself – to solve the challenges out of joy and not out of fear of mistakes.
It is possible to train our mind to enjoy the process, by training ourselves to make benefits of our mistakes.

Are you clear how to train your thoughts and hesitations to serve your future success?

My view

question mark 2Many times I was asked to relate to questions and confrontations. So, I am going to serve you by relating to questions that are send to me.
This opportunity is open for non-graduates of my trainings as well. The topics can be: personal growth, business development, parenthood, communication, intuition, team-work and more.

You can write your question here. The question and your details will not be published in order to keep your privacy.

I will filter the questions and answer at least 8 questions per week.
The answers will be answered in this blog, and summary will be placed on Facebook and Twitter as well.

To get regular updates, just do a friendship request on facebook


Live MY-LIFE properly, or, MY-LIFE can be much more fun

The surprise was confronting me without any warning. When we visited “universal-Studios”, a friend (“who wants friends like this?”) an official tour-guide of the studios, organized special tickets and sits for us for one of the shows. It was close to the stage. My friend places us in specific sits. I did not have a clue of what would happen. The place was full of more than 5000 people. It was a “live rock show”. In a specific moment the leader of the band pointed at a specific sit, where the person that was seated there was supposed to act completely ridiculous in-front of all the huge crowd, as a part of the show. Guess what – It was ME. NOW – I really had to choose fast: Hide like I felt like, or, let go of all my image and be ridiculous, involved and enjoy. (Later I found out that most people hide). I got completely spontaneous and crazy. Even the band were surprised. Later the band leader used me several times more, which they never do. When the show was over everyone in the crowd applaud to me including the band. I was proud, and my child and wife were shocked but proud too.

I found out that I used to do the same in many areas of my-life. Behave properly and get reasonable results and reasonable life. Since I crossed this “proper” attitude – all my life changed as a leader, as a parent, as a businessman, and as a trainer and professor.

Meeting many thousands of people in all areas of life, we limit our self-expression with many reasons, which all of them are just about “behaving – properly”. We can perform so much better and enjoy much greater successes, happiness and pride. Getting these people and businesses to cross their “proper” boundaries created outstanding results which short time earlier nobody would believe it was possible to achieve.

Most people seek these moments of inner power to express their uniqueness. All of them have the needed qualities, but they wait and wait and wait – properly.