Category Archives: Self development


I was deeply touched, inspired and empowered by a sharing conversation that I had with a graduate. It was how she is managing her life. I heard that she is facing several significant challenges and confrontations in all main areas of life. And yet she came across very powerful, energetic and excited. At work – where she manages a significant part of a large company, her director got into ‘burn-out’, other directors are away, and she needs to manage the whole operation by herself. Much beyond her official tasks. At home – there were significant challenges how to handle the family, when there were health issues. Personally it is physically tiring. And in all these she is powerful and successful.

When I asked her – ‘how do you do it?’ her response was – ‘I am using every tool and method I got from the trainings, in real life’. This was the moment that I was touched. She really used what we are training, in real life. AND it worked. This is what my life is about. To serve people to make life working successfully including in confronting situations.

She did Essence, Source, Beyond-Doubt, Coaches academy and more.

This is exactly, where I decided to offer ‘Essence- Refresh’, Source – Upgrade and ‘Dare to be Intuitive’ to graduates.

It is great to hear these successes.

I would love to see graduates use these opportunities to create better quality of life.

Ess refresh


Creating team spirit of success under stressful conditions

A few years ago, the football team of my son, age 9 at that time played against Ajax. I was not the coach. At the break the score was 3:0 for Ajax. I spoke with the coach, and told him that the team do not trust that they can win. He answered: Ajax pick their players from 4000 kids, I pick them from maximum 20. I asked his permission to talk to the kids. He was open and caring, and allowed me to talk to them during this break. The game ended 3:3.

After my speech with them they were fighting and went for the win. They did it.

Imagine a military unit that lost 14 out of 40 people in one blast, in enemy area, and look devastated. Agreeing to this reality, could mean my death too.

Both realities are actually the same reality, with different application.

A few points should be trained and delivered:

  • The difference between winners and losers is never the result, but the spirit. Winners will transform every result to a growth and drive moment, while losers will only torture themselves.
  • Forgiving is an expression of guilt. Meaning – we have made mistakes that were not supposed to be done. Will this attitude reset the reality to where it was?
  • We need to get them involved in shifting the reality into the desired reality. Forgiving will not get that attitude. The way to do so is to relate together to the following questions:
    • What are the results that I call mistakes?
    • What was my intention? (By values and results)
    • What were the actions that I took?
    • What did I miss?
    • What are the opportunities evolving from these results?
    • What do I need to correct? (if there is a correction needed)

This spirit needs to be trained and coached at any time and any result. This is not a trick of one time. It can be done in every break and end of a game or competition. Unfortunately, some answers to coaching and trainership can be delivered only through real-practice and not over this platform.

Is self-forgiveness a contradiction or a part of self-loyalty and authenticity?

When our children hurt someone by mistake, we instruct them to appologize, by saying ‘sorry’. We expect or hope that the ‘hurt’ person will forgive. Then we shall feel ‘relief’. Obviously it involves GUILT. Thus the forgiving person is in a ‘superior’ position over the ‘wrong’ person.

We know that we never know the result before we take the action. Mistakes are human. The concept of ‘No-Mistakes’ destroys willingness to dare and contradict humanness. But, the emotional relief of being forgiven – what about this? The answer is in the following questions:

  • Will the forgiveness solve the mistake?
  • Will the request for forgiveness bring the reality back to the reality that took place before the mistake?
  • Did we have a bad intention? (Because in this case that it is not a mistake).
  • Will the forgiveness and the emotional relief support our growth, or maybe this emotional relief will prevent future self-development?

Self- forgiveness is even worse, as underneath we claim without self-awareness, that we should not have made this ‘silly-mistake’. Meaning – even between ourselves we take a position of superiority – ‘such a mistake I should not have done. I should have known it.’ This is a highly arrogant statement, because if we would have known – we would not have done that mistake.

The answer to such a situation is by verifying that we grow out of our mistakes by the following steps:

  • What are the results that I call mistakes?
  • What was my intention? (By values and results)
  • What were the actions that I took?
  • What did I miss?
  • What are the opportunities evolving from these results?
  • What do I need to correct? (if there is a correction needed)
  • If the consequences of the mistake involve other people, what and how need to be done to create partnership in the correction.

Unfortunately there is a huge culture around us that make ‘forgiveness’ – proper. Forgiveness contradict self-loyalty and excellence. We need to train our mind to love our mistakes and not to make them a source of guilt.

further habits in internalizing compliments

How do I increase my self-expression, when I want to give the compliment, but I am judging it? How do I get out of the vicious circle?

When we try to dance and judge the dance at the same time, we shall lose the excitement of dancing. We may even quit dancing.

Giving in relationships is the same. Giving compliments is a part of giving.

When I dance with all my passion, I am not busy judging it. When I acknowledge and give, I do it with all my passion.

You have trained yourself to criticise yourself – and lose excitement of life. Now start training yourself in the wanted direction. The only way is experiential learning. As we train in all my trainings. It is impossible to solve it by thinking about it.

Self-confidence in loving relationships

Is this the right person for me and is it genuine love?

It is one of the biggest questions that we face while we are starting new loving relationship.
And the truth is simple and confronting.

When I was a child (11) and my beloved ‘girl-friend’, decided to ‘love’ another child, I was hurt and painful. When it happened again, just because another beloved girl had to go back to her country, I cried 3 days (I was not a crying kid). Since then I decided to ‘control my love. Actually to prevent the pain.
The truth is simple – we are scared to make mistakes in our choices. Thus we look for proofs that this is the right one. It does not exist. We create love and trust, when we dare to trust ourselves.
The percentages of separations and divorces worldwide are huge. All of them start from waiting for “it has to be right”. When we have children, we do not wait for the love to be right. WE make it working.
Those who wait for the genuine experience lose it. Those who create it – are free. It is challenging, because it shows that we are bigger than our fears and self-manipulations.  We can and we should make our mind free from our fears that we cannot create our reality.

  • Do you trust yourself that you can create the wanted relationship?
  • Do you know how you want this relationship to develop?
  • Are you willing to invest to make this desire happen?
  • Are you going to create excitement in it?

You can train your mind to do it.

Giving compliments: empowering or manipulating?

acknowledgementWhen I give compliments in my close relationship. Am I authentic or is it a manipulation, meaning I want to get something?

When my children made their first steps, I was cheering and happy amazingly.

We know that these compliments and cheers are empowering our children to dare more. When we get support from strangers, we acknowledge them and we find it authentic. Actually, if we would support a stranger, we would expect to get acknowledgement. BUT, when it is in our close contact – suddenly there is a doubt – am I manipulating – meaning is it real or just an artificial act to please the other, or to get something? We live in a culture where we tend to criticize ourselves and others very easily, but when someone is performing well, for a long time we take it for granted.

The answer to those moments of doubts, can be found in the following self-reflection exercise:

  • Allow yourself to ask for a simple support from a stranger, and look at your willingness to thank the person, and how do you feel if you would not acknowledge this support.
  • Look at their body-language and see the authenticity, when they give without condition.
  • Then – offer your support to a stranger, and look how you feel when you are acknowledged.
  • Who do you doubt then? Your self-trust or theirs?

The answer is in the self-trust and authenticity areas. When I trust myself – it will be perfect to acknowledge the contribution of someone else to my life, without looking at it as a need. When I trust myself – I will not doubt my authenticity, as I am powerful enough to give as much as to receive. When I doubt my authenticity, it is a clear sign of my hesitation about my self-trust and my self-respect.

I trust my willingness to give beyond any proof. It is my contribution and my care.

How do I improve my self-confidence when I need to make an important decision?

Personally – I faced these hesitations when I faced significant questions relating to my future: Which direction of work or study shall I take? Shall I commit myself to specific relationship and get married? Shall I start a business, or shall I remain safe with my current work? Am I ready for having children? Where do I want to live my life? Will I be able to make it if I quit this work/relationship/ studies/ etc…?
Many people are disturbed by the question of self-confidence. It is always related to hesitations, doubts and fears, when it comes to decisions.

We are not worried about the successes that are available. We are worried of the consequences and prices we may pay if we make a wrong decision.

The answer to this major question of self-confidence starts in different 4 points, which the following questions will illustrate:

  • If we would be sure that whatever we decide, we can solve the challenge successfully. Would we hesitate or would we just decide?
  • Are we looking at the opportunities as deeply as we are looking at the threats?
  • Are we clear what may the consequences and prices be and prepare solutions for those?
  • Are we willing to look at those consequences as investments?

The issue of self-confidence is a justification for our desire to get the result, before we take the actions.

It is a matter of admitting that I will never know the result before I take the action, and committing myself – to solve the challenges out of joy and not out of fear of mistakes.
It is possible to train our mind to enjoy the process, by training ourselves to make benefits of our mistakes.

Are you clear how to train your thoughts and hesitations to serve your future success?

Expressing the inner power – freely

  • What stops us from expressing our real human qualities beyond circumstances?
  • What is creating the gap between our intentions about ourselves and our existing quality of life?
  • How come that even when we are aware of that gap, we put efforts to close that gap and yet it works only partially?

If you find yourself disturbed, annoyed, bothered furious and even loosing big issues, it indicates that your own self-development needs a different attention from the way you are doing it so far. Otherwise – your reality would be the way you want it to be. Apparently thinking about it or reading about it do not give the wanted answers. Because – without shifting attitudes no real shift will take place. Actually – whenever we are trying to solve our confrontations by thinking about it, or by our logics – we are expressing our fear, and thus reinforce our past.

Shifting our reality necessitates several important steps, that all of them are important for the success of experiencing real freedom.

  • What is the real inner source of power of mine?
  • How do I want to express the inner power in real life?
  • What are my real desires of self-fulfillment?
  • How can I solve difficulties and confrontations without losing my freedom and without giving up on myself?
  • How do I communicate myself with my qualities and my limitations in such a way that it all turns into excellence?
  • How do I maintain my direction in life without ‘Losing-it’? These are the leading steps in self-development. There are all achievable. The question is are we willing to invest in ourselves to create our real freedom.

To fulfil the real me


What, How, Why, where am I in my life, the gap between who I can be and the actual use of my potential and talents.

Looking around – some of the ‘successful-people’. I know them, I met them. They are not really better than me. So what am I missing in me, that I am wasted? Not completely, but definitely it could look better.

 The few lines that are described above, are very common. In my experience of training and coaching many thousands of people, in high level of big and small companies, from entrepreneurs to government organizations.

The sad part is that the influence of these questions do not end with the people who are in the loop of these questions, but it continues to the next generation as-well: children, close family members, peers and employees.

 Can you identify yourself with some of the points mentioned above?

 It is very touching to see and to hear about many of those people, who went through some simple but effective processes, that these questions are solved successfully. Solved not for short term temporary hype, but significant and long-lasting shift of life.

 What is the secret? What is the trick?

The answer is, that there are no tricks. It has to start from creating the real-me through a very clear vision. A vision that is expressing – Not who I am “supposed” to be, and not who is it “Right” to be. The REAL-ME.

This vision, or in my words – my fulfilment dream, is and will be the source of the inner power which drives people beyond every difficulty and mistake. The generating power of people to express unique ideas and solutions into workable plans and achievements. In all areas of life. From business to relationships. From Studies to creativity and innovation. From corporates to one-man, home self-expression of art. From professionalism to Love.

All the people who force themselves to prove that they are successful, at the end of the process are wonder into the question – and now what?

The people who have a vision do not have this question. They have many others – but not the question of the need to force themselves.

The sad story is – that most people do not dare to dream any more. It is not common anymore. And those who dare to stop for a moment, to look at their own mirror and to really challenge themselves – try to solve it by the same way as before, and by themselves. They would go to a dentist for teeth problem, and to the supermarket for food. But when it comes to real self-fulfillment, then they are waiting for luck or god or anything, instead of using proven, available and easy methods that can get them to cross the bridge to the fulfillment of the REAL-ME.

Do you want to know more about this and see what you can get from the Challenge training?