How do I increase my self-expression, when I want to give the compliment, but I am judging it? How do I get out of the vicious circle?
When we try to dance and judge the dance at the same time, we shall lose the excitement of dancing. We may even quit dancing.
Giving in relationships is the same. Giving compliments is a part of giving.
When I dance with all my passion, I am not busy judging it. When I acknowledge and give, I do it with all my passion.
You have trained yourself to criticise yourself – and lose excitement of life. Now start training yourself in the wanted direction. The only way is experiential learning. As we train in all my trainings. It is impossible to solve it by thinking about it.
Great blog. Really inspiring! This is how I used compliments:
I am coaching a hockey team; boys, 14 and 15 year of age. In the team a view boys that are in perfection and constantly complaining about their own mediocre performance and/or others performance. The negative effect in the team is huge.
So, last week I gave them an assignment to send each other 1 personal compliment. I started myself (being an example and taking away the judgement over the compliment). Within minutes they started sharing in Whatsapp. Energy is really floating around.
It’s great to see their drive and care. It is also great to see how this effects them, the team and their parents: creating a world that works for everyone out of love, care and cooperation.